Match 1: Joey Kidman and The Russian Assassin vs. Bill the Butcher and Pain
Winners: Bill the Butcher and Pain
Prince Akbar came out with Kidman and The Russian Assassin and said that if the referee didn't hold Pain and Bill back then his team would leave and there would be no match. Joey Kidman's slimmed down some, and his "psycho" heel gimmick got a fair amount of heat from the Locust Grove crowd.
Joey Kidman locked up with Bill the Butcher. Joey clotheslined Bill, but The Russian Assassin tagged himself in before Joey could capitalize. Butcher and Pain double teamed The Russian Assassin and manhandled him. Kidman abandoned his partner in frustration because he wasn't given another chance to tag in. Pain knocked The Russian Assassin down with just a thumb, pinned him, and left him for dead.
Tradition came out and Zac Edwards announced them. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, white trash of all ages," he crowed to the audience. "We're not just the best here at NWA Atlanta. We're the best in the state of GA. Tradition is about the greatest champions. We are the 4 best in the state, and later tonight Fry Daddy and Marko are going to know that. If you hillbilly rednecks don't show these men some respect when they come out later tonight I'm gonna bust some skulls."
Match 2: Trevor Aeon vs. The Curry Kidd
Winner: The Curry Kidd
Aeon was accused of trying to pull the "hair" on Curry Kidd's mask. Curry Kidd pulled out a comb and attempted to comb Aeon's hair. Aeon did armbar on Curry Kidd and managed to get his shoulders down, but Curry Kidd kicked out at two. Curry Kidd danced while Aeon walked around the ring. Aeon made a large offense, but Curry Kidd kicked out at two. Curry Kidd failed at a sunset flip attempt, and he continued to make several pin attempts. He did a scissor kick for a two count. Then he did a "curricanrana" into a submission and Aeon tapped.
Match 3: DJ Clarke and Kyle O'Grady vs. Andy Anderson and Tyson Dean
Winners: Andy Anderson and Tyson Dean
When I realized DJ Clarke and Kyle O'Grady were taking on Andy Anderson and Tyson Dean, I took one look at them and referred to them as "sacrificial lamb 1" and "sacrificial lamb 2", and that's pretty much how the match went. Dean manhandled O'Grady, then handed him off to Anderson who picked up where Dean left off. Anderson knocked Clarke off the apron, and while the referee admonished Anderson, Dean interfered. Dean and Anderson further humiliated the opponents by not making their sacrifice quick and painless. They yelled "Come on fight back" to their prone opponents. Anderson ended it by doing pushups as he pinned one of them.
Match 4: Delicious Don vs. Colt Callaway
Winner: Colt Callaway
I realize that Colt Callaway is attempting to appear high energy and eager when he enters the ring, but all the kicking and punching the air makes him look like he's swatting away a hundred angry hornets. The match was mediocre. I've seen better from Callaway . Callaway won with a new finisher.
Match 5: Prince Akbar vs. Drew Adler for the NWA Atlanta Heavyweight Championship
Winner: Drew Adler
Akbar had a couple of weapons hidden in his knee and elbow pads which led to the referee having to check him multiple times. Drew attempted to jump over Akbar's head. Drew tried to grab Akbar between his legs and flip him, but it didn't work. Drew slapped him. Drew put him in a headlock and grabbed his nose. Akbar left the ring. He's played the coward for a long time, and it's getting old to me. The crowd does seem to hate him. Drew pinned Akbar after a bicycle kick.
Matt Sells came to the ring. "How did you like seeing Drew Adler defend my Mattlanta championship. I delivered the most memorable wrestling performance you peons have ever seen. That championship would be with me if not for the actions of one man. That man is not Drew Adler. It's my former best friend, Johnny Danger. You powerbombed me from 10 feet. I'm demanding an apology. You took my NWA Mattlanta championship, and you're not fit to lick my boots."
Johnny Danger responded. "You want me to apologize. For over 20 years now it's been about what you want. When I suffered a concussion, I came back to wrestling because you needed me. When I dislocated my knee, I came back because you needed me. When I said I needed you, you handed me a pair of green shorts and expected me to be your cheerleader. The name Johnny Danger used to mean something in Georgia wrestling. You told me I'd go places with you. Now you're moving onto bigger and better things. I hope it's my foot that kicks your ass out the door. NWA let us fight."
Match 6: Johnny Danger vs. Matt "Sex" Sells
Winner: Johnny Danger
Sells attacked Danger before the match started then the referee rang the bell. Danger threw Sells into the barricade. Danger did a bulldog to Sells for a two count. Sells did a neckbreaker then punched Danger in the face. He then kneed Danger in the face. Sells did a cutter to Danger. He followed that with his taunt move where he does pelvic swirls while his opponent's head is between his legs. He played drums on his head then turned him over and smashed his face into the mat. Danger speared Sells for a two count. Sells did an abdominal stretch and played guitar on Danger's abs. He grabbed the ropes to gain leverage during this move. Sells slammed Danger for a two count. Danger kicked Sells as Sells jumped off the turnbuckle. Danger chopped Sells in the chest, then dangerkicked him for a two count. Sells did a stunner but only managed a two count. He wrapped around him and tried for a roll-up, but to no avail. He did a snapmare then did his pelvic swirl, pounded their face into the mat move he's famous for. Finally Johnny Danger won the match. It looked like they were going to put aside their differences with a handshake and a hug, but they kicked each other in the balls. This was the most entertaining segment of the show. I will miss Matt Sells and his sense of theatrics. My sincere hope is that NWA Atlanta recognizes that Johnny Danger would be a valued asset as a fan favorite and that his tenure doesn't end because Sells is moving to another city.
Main Event: Fry Daddy and Marko Polo vs. The Bald Beautiful Besties.
Winners: The Bald, Beautiful Besties.
I have few words for the delicious horror that is the Bald Beautiful Besties theme song. It fits them perfectly, and it is mockable beyond belief. Polo began the match against Michael Stevens. Marko spanked Stevens. He tagged in Fry Daddy and Fry Daddy did a takedown then a kick. Polo tagged back in and he was isolated for a good portion of the match. When Fry Daddy finally got in, he did big elbows. He attempted a roll up, then did another elbow. Marko bashed both of the Bald Besties heads together, and Fry Daddy toppled them with a suicide dive. Zac Edwards rolled up Fry Daddy for the win, but he had a handful of tights. The Besties retained.
NWA Atlanta is scheduled for another show on June 7th.
Winners: Bill the Butcher and Pain
Prince Akbar came out with Kidman and The Russian Assassin and said that if the referee didn't hold Pain and Bill back then his team would leave and there would be no match. Joey Kidman's slimmed down some, and his "psycho" heel gimmick got a fair amount of heat from the Locust Grove crowd.
Joey Kidman locked up with Bill the Butcher. Joey clotheslined Bill, but The Russian Assassin tagged himself in before Joey could capitalize. Butcher and Pain double teamed The Russian Assassin and manhandled him. Kidman abandoned his partner in frustration because he wasn't given another chance to tag in. Pain knocked The Russian Assassin down with just a thumb, pinned him, and left him for dead.
Tradition came out and Zac Edwards announced them. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, white trash of all ages," he crowed to the audience. "We're not just the best here at NWA Atlanta. We're the best in the state of GA. Tradition is about the greatest champions. We are the 4 best in the state, and later tonight Fry Daddy and Marko are going to know that. If you hillbilly rednecks don't show these men some respect when they come out later tonight I'm gonna bust some skulls."
Match 2: Trevor Aeon vs. The Curry Kidd
Winner: The Curry Kidd
Aeon was accused of trying to pull the "hair" on Curry Kidd's mask. Curry Kidd pulled out a comb and attempted to comb Aeon's hair. Aeon did armbar on Curry Kidd and managed to get his shoulders down, but Curry Kidd kicked out at two. Curry Kidd danced while Aeon walked around the ring. Aeon made a large offense, but Curry Kidd kicked out at two. Curry Kidd failed at a sunset flip attempt, and he continued to make several pin attempts. He did a scissor kick for a two count. Then he did a "curricanrana" into a submission and Aeon tapped.
Match 3: DJ Clarke and Kyle O'Grady vs. Andy Anderson and Tyson Dean
Winners: Andy Anderson and Tyson Dean
When I realized DJ Clarke and Kyle O'Grady were taking on Andy Anderson and Tyson Dean, I took one look at them and referred to them as "sacrificial lamb 1" and "sacrificial lamb 2", and that's pretty much how the match went. Dean manhandled O'Grady, then handed him off to Anderson who picked up where Dean left off. Anderson knocked Clarke off the apron, and while the referee admonished Anderson, Dean interfered. Dean and Anderson further humiliated the opponents by not making their sacrifice quick and painless. They yelled "Come on fight back" to their prone opponents. Anderson ended it by doing pushups as he pinned one of them.
Match 4: Delicious Don vs. Colt Callaway
Winner: Colt Callaway
I realize that Colt Callaway is attempting to appear high energy and eager when he enters the ring, but all the kicking and punching the air makes him look like he's swatting away a hundred angry hornets. The match was mediocre. I've seen better from Callaway . Callaway won with a new finisher.
Match 5: Prince Akbar vs. Drew Adler for the NWA Atlanta Heavyweight Championship
Winner: Drew Adler
Akbar had a couple of weapons hidden in his knee and elbow pads which led to the referee having to check him multiple times. Drew attempted to jump over Akbar's head. Drew tried to grab Akbar between his legs and flip him, but it didn't work. Drew slapped him. Drew put him in a headlock and grabbed his nose. Akbar left the ring. He's played the coward for a long time, and it's getting old to me. The crowd does seem to hate him. Drew pinned Akbar after a bicycle kick.
Matt Sells came to the ring. "How did you like seeing Drew Adler defend my Mattlanta championship. I delivered the most memorable wrestling performance you peons have ever seen. That championship would be with me if not for the actions of one man. That man is not Drew Adler. It's my former best friend, Johnny Danger. You powerbombed me from 10 feet. I'm demanding an apology. You took my NWA Mattlanta championship, and you're not fit to lick my boots."
Johnny Danger responded. "You want me to apologize. For over 20 years now it's been about what you want. When I suffered a concussion, I came back to wrestling because you needed me. When I dislocated my knee, I came back because you needed me. When I said I needed you, you handed me a pair of green shorts and expected me to be your cheerleader. The name Johnny Danger used to mean something in Georgia wrestling. You told me I'd go places with you. Now you're moving onto bigger and better things. I hope it's my foot that kicks your ass out the door. NWA let us fight."
Match 6: Johnny Danger vs. Matt "Sex" Sells
Winner: Johnny Danger
Sells attacked Danger before the match started then the referee rang the bell. Danger threw Sells into the barricade. Danger did a bulldog to Sells for a two count. Sells did a neckbreaker then punched Danger in the face. He then kneed Danger in the face. Sells did a cutter to Danger. He followed that with his taunt move where he does pelvic swirls while his opponent's head is between his legs. He played drums on his head then turned him over and smashed his face into the mat. Danger speared Sells for a two count. Sells did an abdominal stretch and played guitar on Danger's abs. He grabbed the ropes to gain leverage during this move. Sells slammed Danger for a two count. Danger kicked Sells as Sells jumped off the turnbuckle. Danger chopped Sells in the chest, then dangerkicked him for a two count. Sells did a stunner but only managed a two count. He wrapped around him and tried for a roll-up, but to no avail. He did a snapmare then did his pelvic swirl, pounded their face into the mat move he's famous for. Finally Johnny Danger won the match. It looked like they were going to put aside their differences with a handshake and a hug, but they kicked each other in the balls. This was the most entertaining segment of the show. I will miss Matt Sells and his sense of theatrics. My sincere hope is that NWA Atlanta recognizes that Johnny Danger would be a valued asset as a fan favorite and that his tenure doesn't end because Sells is moving to another city.
Main Event: Fry Daddy and Marko Polo vs. The Bald Beautiful Besties.
Winners: The Bald, Beautiful Besties.
I have few words for the delicious horror that is the Bald Beautiful Besties theme song. It fits them perfectly, and it is mockable beyond belief. Polo began the match against Michael Stevens. Marko spanked Stevens. He tagged in Fry Daddy and Fry Daddy did a takedown then a kick. Polo tagged back in and he was isolated for a good portion of the match. When Fry Daddy finally got in, he did big elbows. He attempted a roll up, then did another elbow. Marko bashed both of the Bald Besties heads together, and Fry Daddy toppled them with a suicide dive. Zac Edwards rolled up Fry Daddy for the win, but he had a handful of tights. The Besties retained.
NWA Atlanta is scheduled for another show on June 7th.
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